Children:
When treating young children (typically under 10) I prefer to utilize play therapy and sand tray therapy. Play therapy allows children to speak in the best language that they have. As adults we are capable of understanding and communicating emotions on many levels. Children lack this capacity, but can effectively convey their fears, wishes, anxieties, and thought processes through play. Toys can come to life and become anything or anyone your child wishes, often without their direct knowledge. By paying attention to themes, conversations, toys used, and many other things, a trained play therapist can help even the youngest child process whatever it is that may be troubling them in a safe, supportive and comfortable way.
Sand tray is simply another way for your child to play. During sandtray therapy, a child uses miniature toys in a sand box to subconsciously create their inner world. As in traditional play therapy, through their choice of figures, placement in the sand tray, and actions taken with the figures, a trained therapist can begin to understand your child’s inner world and assist with making changes in the way they express themselves, think and feel and in addition, help dispel fears.
With both play and sand tray therapy, a child progresses over the course of several sessions due to the evolution of their play. When children are able to subconsciously project their inner world onto their toys it is both safe and comfortable. It allows children to be “observers” of issues being resolved, fears being overcome, and dilemma’s solved – all which become internalized as resolution. As a play therapist, I will assist this process by asking relevant questions of the toys, making gentle suggestions, offering alternatives, and playing appropriate roles with related toys.
Older children, with more sophisticated language and comprehension skills, receive a combination of play, sand and talk therapy.
I like to see the family together at the first session in order to get an idea of the big picture and to get the perspectives of both the young person and the parent(s) before I begin child therapy sessions. It also may be beneficial to have a short session with the parents alone, depending on the situation and the age of the child. In addition, I will check in with the family briefly at the beginning of each session. I will then call the family back together to reevaluate. If, at any point, family therapy is indicated, I will make that recommendation.
I have spent the larger part of my career focused on working with young people, from specialized training in play and sand tray therapy to my varied work experience with abused, neglected, and foster children.
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Adolescents:
Teenagers are a difficult bunch, as I’m sure any parent of one can attest. What I have found that works best is being honest and straightforward while showing respect for the difficult life stage that they are in. Understanding and compassion are vital for building trust, mutual respect, and openness – all of which are essential in forming a therapeutic relationship that can encourage change. I rarely use play or sandtray therapy with adolescents, however I have found that using cards, board games and art projects during talk therapy allows for a more uninhibited, honest exchange. I am pleased to note that I have a track record of really connecting with adolescents and eliciting change. While many therapists do not choose to work with this population, I truly enjoy it.
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Families/Couples:
Whether you enter therapy with the request for family therapy or it is determined during the course of child therapy to be necessary, it is my belief that some issues cannot fully resolve themselves without all parties involved. The family is a living system that is influenced by each other’s behaviors and moods. A change in one person creates a change in the entire system. Therefore, when one person is out of balance it throws the entire system off course. In addition, it is also true that the person suffering the psychological symptoms that prompt therapy (what we call the “identified patient” in family therapy) is often reacting to a disturbance in the family unit that needs to be looked at. When this is uncovered and addressed the identified patient’s individual symptoms often get resolved.
Family therapy and couples therapy are both about learning to communicate differently so that your message is being heard as you intend it to and the one receiving the message understands it as you anticipated, not clouded by their own judgments and perceptions. When these are revealed, the real issues are often uncovered and can be looked at openly, honestly and fairly in a safe environment with a neutral third party. In family and couples therapy communication, the structure of the relationships, patterns of interactions, and hidden thoughts, fears and concerns are discussed. Resolution comes from gaining a better understanding of each other, learning new ways to handle emotions, situations and interactions, learning different problem-solving skills, and dissolving old patterns.
In addition, as a trained family therapist I can assist parents in creating behavior modification tools such as chore, homework and star charts and introduce new behavior management techniques. These tools can be extremely helpful in assisting children with following house rules, deescalating temper tantrums, diffusing power struggles and adding structure to daily life.
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Individuals:
When providing individual therapy my style is based on a few different theoretical orientations that I have found to be effective over the years. It is a mixture of psychodynamic, cognitive-behavioral, and brief, solution-focused therapy.
In using psychodynamic therapy I will work with you to uncover the roots of ineffectual thoughts and behaviors that are currently causing conflict in your life. Often, they are based in long held patterns of belief that are proving no longer useful. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, holds the premise that these beliefs can lead to all sorts of relationship and personal problems like depression, anxiety, anger, and low self-esteem and that if we challenge and alter these beliefs we could change the way we feel and act, thereby improving our mood, self-esteem and relationships. It sounds quite simple but is actually a complex process. Often we do not even realize what we are telling ourselves or these messages are so engrained in our psyches that we believe them to be true without question. This combination of therapeutic styles can help uncover these thoughts, explore where they came from, come up with ways to challenge them, and help replace them with alternative ways of thinking and responding. One can come away with greater awareness, new coping skills and ways of handling upsetting emotions, improved communication and relationships, and improved self-esteem – all within less time than traditional psychotherapy because CBT is by nature focused on problem solving.
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